Gato de la química

gato de química: juegos de palabras de química? Estoy en mi elemento.

explicación: la química es el estudio de la materia y la energía. El bloque de construcción más simple de la materia es el átomo. cuando cambia el número de protones en un átomo, tienes un nuevo elemento .

gato de química: a la mayoría de las personas les gustan los chistes de química. Los encuentro prefosfórico.

explicación: prefosforo = absurdo. El fósforo es un elemento químico. (por si no lo conseguiste ...)

gato de química: sé que hay otro chiste de química ... está en la punta de mi tungsteno.

explicación: lengua = tungsteno ...

gato de química: el gato de química lo hace sobre la mesa, periódicamente.

explicación: esta es una referencia a la tabla periódica de los elementos . También es una referencia a algo más ...

gato de química: ¿es el silicio igual en español? ¡si!

explicación: "si" significa sí en español. "si" también es el símbolo del elemento para el silicio .

gato de química: el gato de schrodinger entra en un bar ... y no lo hace.

explicación: este chiste es un poco más difícil de explicar. El gato de Schrodinger es un famoso experimento mental basado en el principio de incertidumbre de Heisenberg. Básicamente, según la mecánica cuántica, no se puede conocer el estado de un gato en una caja hasta que lo observe.

gato de química: recientemente decidí congelarme a -273 grados c. mi familia piensa que moriré pero creo que estaré a 0k.

explicación: -273 c es lo mismo que 0 k, o cero absoluto . 0k (cero k) = ok.

gato de química: ¿perdió un electrón? eres positivo?

explicación: si un átomo pierde un electrón, puede tener más protones que electrones y, por lo tanto, una carga eléctrica positiva. Esto también forma un catión .

gato de química: tu mamá es tan fea ... ni siquiera el flúor se uniría a ella.

explicación: el flúor es el elemento más electronegativo , lo que significa que es extremadamente reactivo. Si algo no se adhiere al flúor, prácticamente no se adhiere a nada.

gato de química: oro? au yeeeeaaaaah!

explicación: el símbolo del elemento para el oro es au.

gato de química: creo que toda la buena química bromea argón.

explicación: argón = se han ido. argón es el elemento número 18 en la tabla periódica .

gato de la química: resumen de la química orgánica: el carbono es una puta.

explicación: el estudio del elemento carbono es la base de la química orgánica . El carbono tiene una valencia de 4, lo que significa que se une con casi todo lo que encuentra, además de que se une con más de una cosa a la vez, lo que la convierte en la prostituta de la química, si quieres verlo de esa manera.

gato de química: ¿configuración electrónica? que bohring!

explicación: el modelo de bohr explica la configuración electrónica. Es posible que muchos estudiantes se aburran aprendiendo el modelo de Bohr.

gato de la química: sodio sodio sodio sodio sodio sodio sodio sodio sodio batman!
explicación: el símbolo del elemento de sodio es na. Si tienes dificultades para entender esta broma, mira la marca 0:35 de este video de YouTube .

gato de química: ¿qué haces con un químico muerto? bario.

explicación: bario = enterrarlos.

gato de química: ¿tienes un chiste sobre los enlaces covalentes? compartir

explicación: los electrones se comparten entre los átomos en un enlace covalente.

gato de química: tenía una broma sobre cobalto, radón e itrio ... pero es un poco cursi.

explicación: la palabra "cursi" está hecha de los símbolos del elemento para cobalto (co), radón (rn) e itrio (y).

gato de química: los iones catiónicos son "patas" activas.

explicación: pawsitive = positivo.

gato de química: si no mezclas estos químicos correctamente, podría ser una catástrofe.

explicación: el gato de química es ... bueno, un gato . Si algo desastroso le sucediera, sería una catástrofe .

gato de química: los gatos están compuestos de hierro, litio y neón: felino

explicación: la palabra "felino" está hecha de los símbolos de elementos para hierro (fe), litio (li) y neón (ne).

gato de química: ¿cómo llamas al hierro que sopla en el viento? febreeze

explicación: fe es el símbolo del elemento para el hierro.

gato de química: ¿cómo se llama la molécula bunny-o-bunny? Un conejito de éter.

explicación: el grupo funcional éter se caracteriza por -o-.

gato de química: ¿no entiendes los chistes de química? Son elementales.

gato de química: chistes sobre edta? Demasiado complejo
explicación: edta se usa para materiales complejos, como metales pesados.

gato de química: el pequeño Timmy tomó un trago, pero ya no tomará más. porque lo que él pensó era h ₂ o, era h ₂ so ₄ .

explicación: la primera es el agua; el otro es el ácido sulfúrico. se ven más o menos lo mismo.

gato de química: dos hombres entran a un bar. uno ordena h ₂ o. las segundas órdenes h ₂ o también. El segundo hombre murió.

explanation: same song as the previous, different verse.

chemistry cat: what do you get when you cut an avocado into 6x10²³ pieces? guacamole

explanation: the number is avogadro's number, which is the number of particles in a mole.

chemistry cat: lab closed...gone fission.

explanation: fission sounds like fishin', except it's cooler.

chemistry cat: "what's up with hydrogen? he had only one beer?" he's a lightweight.

explanation: hydrogen is the element with the lowest atomic number and so the lightest.

chemistry cat: exothermic reactions? i studied them before they were cool.

explanation: exothermic reactions give off heat (or light).

chemistry cat: au wanna hear a joke about gold?

explanation: spell out the symbol for gold for this one. a-u = hey, you.

chemistry cat: what's my favorite heavy metal group? lanthanides

explanation: these elements are metals and heavy, comprising numbers 57–71 on the periodic table.

chemistry cat: the optimist sees the glass half full. the pessimist sees the glass half empty. the chemist sees the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

chemistry cat: lost your electron? gotta keep an ion them.

explanation: ions are atoms with missing (or extra) electrons. keep an eye on them, so they don't get lost.

chemistry cat: how much do i make? iron enough.

explanation: iron enough = i earn enough.

chemistry cat: hey, baby, i got my ion you.

explanation: i got my ion you = i got my eye on you.

chemistry cat: the name's bond. ionic bond. taken, not shared.

explanation: a parody of "bond, james bond," who takes his martinis shaken, not stirred. in ionic bonds, the electrons are transferred to each other rather than shared (covalent bonds).

chemistry cat: hoh hoh hoh water joke.

explanation: instead of ha ha ha or ho ho ho, the joke uses the formula for water, which is h₂o.

chemistry cat: do i know any jokes about sodium? na

chemistry cat: "do you have any sodium hypobromite?" nabro

chemistry cat: if a mole of moles are digging a mole of holes, what do you see? a mole of molasses.

explanation: molasses = moles' backsides, as they're a burrowing creature.

chemistry cat: why do they call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements? because if you can't "helium" or "curium," you "barium."

explanation: helium = heal 'em; curium = cure 'em; barium = bury 'em.

chemistry cat: a physicist and a biologist had a relationship, but there was no chemistry.

chemistry cat: i hate telling noble gas jokes. there's never a reaction.

explanation: noble gases only rarely form compounds.

chemistry cat: why do chemists like nitrates so much? they're cheaper than day rates.

chemistry cat says that a neutron wants to pay his or her tab, but the bartender says, "for you, no charge."

explanation: a neutron doesn't have an electrical charge.

chemistry cat: i got this extra electron i didn't want. my friend said don't be so negative.

explanation: electrons carry a negative charge.

chemistry cat: i told a chemistry joke. there was no reaction.

chemistry cat: what am i working on? none of your bismuth.

explanation: bismuth = business.

chemistry cat: what's the difference between chemistry and cooking? in chemistry, you never lick the spoon.

chemistry cat: sitting at computer for hours. ion-estly can't think of one good joke.

explanation: ion-estly = i honestly.

chemistry cat: did you hear about oxygen and magnesium? omg!

explanation: oxygen is represented by o, and magnesium by mg on the periodic table.

chemistry cat: chemists don't die; they just stop reacting.

chemistry cat: tell a potassium joke? k.

explanation: potassium's symbol on the periodic table is k.

chemistry cat: did you hear oxygen and potassium went on a date? it went ok.

chemistry cat: alcohol is not a problem. it's a solution.

chemistry cat: you must be made of uranium and iodine...because all i can see is u and i.

chemistry cat: how often do i like jokes about chemistry? periodically.

chemistry cat: no, i'm not trying to poison you...now finish your pb and jelly sandwich.

explanation: pb is the element symbol for lead, which is poisonous. pb = peanut butter

chemistry cat: i blew up my chemistry experiment. oxidants happen.

explanation: chemicals that are strong oxidizers have a tendency to lead to explosions. oxidants = accidents.

chemistry cat: if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

explanation: from the saying, "if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem."

a substance that falls out of a chemical solution is called a precipitate.

chemistry cat: radioactive cat has 18 half-lives.

explanation: a radioactive material will decay into a more stable substance. the time required for half of a radioactive element to decay is its half life. the other part of the joke is that cats are said to have nine lives. nine is half of eighteen.

chemistry cat: no one uses this meme anymore. i guess people think it's boron.

chemistry cat: what sound did the chemist make when calcium acetate got up his nose? ca(ch₃coo)₂.

explanation: ka-choo is a way to spell a sneeze.

grumpy cat: you want to hear a joke about nitric oxide? no.

explanation: this is a meme within a meme. grumpy cat stands in for chemistry cat, asking if anyone wants to hear a joke about nitric oxide. of course, grumpy cat doesn't want to hear one. he answers "no," which is the chemical formula for nitric oxide. well played, grumpy cat, well played!

chemistry cat: my science teacher threw sodium chloride at me. that's a salt.

explanation: science teachers are typically the gentlest of souls. they would never assault anyone...

chemistry cat: there are two types of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data...

explanation: chemistry cat doesn't need all the data to make his conclusion. he knows that if there are two types of people and one type is in one group, the rest must be in the other group.

chemistry cat: my date was boron me, so iodine alone tonight.

explanation: poor chemistry cat, his date bored him, so he decided to dine alone tonight.

chemistry cat: my new gold crowns hurt. it's an au-ful feeling.

chemistry cat does not believe you reacted lithium to a noble gas.

explanation: this one is a spelling joke. lithium is li and ar is argon, a noble gas. together they spell liar.

chemistry cat: i am not out of chemistry jokes. i have a copper more.

explanation: chemistry cat isn't out of puns yet...he's got a copper (couple) more.

chemistry cat: how do you know the moon is going broke? it's down to its last quarter.

chemistry cat: where does bad light end up? in prism.

chemistry cat explains how bad light is punished by being sent to prism (prison). once released, the spectrum of its rehabilitation will be revealed.

chemistry cat: what does a subatomic duck say? quark.

explanation: a quark is a subatomic particle. chemistry cat knows about subatomic waterfowl. if it quarks like a duck, it must be a duck.

chemistry cat cannot stop reading the book on antigravity. it's hard to put down.

chemistry cat: what did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? you may have graduated, but i've got many degrees.

did you know fahrenheit thermometers have more degrees than celsius thermometers?

chemistry cat: i've left the bromine and boron in the cabinet. brb.

explanation: bromine is represented by br and boron by b. in text-speak, brb is "be right back."

chemistry cat: what kind of fish is made from two sodium atoms? 2 na

explanation: 2 na = tuna. all cats enjoy fish, but chemistry cat is more concerned about all that sodium.

chemistry cat: the lab smells like rotten eggs? sorry for your sulfuring.

explanation: when sulfur comes into contact with organic material, the hydrogen sulfide gas that results smells like rotten eggs. chemistry cat is sorry for the rotten egg smell and the sulfuring (suffering) it causes.

chemistry cat: ever hear of nobelium? no.

chemistry cat denies any knowledge of nobelium. perhaps he should look at element 102 for more information.

chemistry cat: why are my pants so wrinkled? iron deficiency.

explanation: chemistry cat says his pants just need more iron(ing).